Making your commitment valid - the Quaker wedding certificate tradition

How can your same-sex commitment ceremony have an element of legality, when in Australia we can't get married by law? 

I use a tradition that comes from the Quakers, using a wedding certificate to validate your ceremony.

Quakers were considered an outlaw religion in the 17th century, the State did not recognise their marriages as legal because they weren't sanctified in the Church of England. If a spouse died, the State claimed the estate and the spouse and children were left destitute. 

To ensure that the state would recognise the Quaker wedding ceremony and all its spousal and inheritance rights, a Quaker tradition arose where everyone at the ceremony signed the marriage certificate as witness to the act. If the state disputed the inheritance at the death of a spouse, this wedding certificate was used as proof of their commitment, with so many witnesses to the wedding ceremony and the couple’s commitment to each other; it was hard for the state to dispute their marriage.

The Quaker wedding certificate tradition can be used today by same sex couples, or couples who do not want to engage with the state for their vows. The Quaker wedding certificate is a way to formalise your commitment and include your guests in your ceremony and while it has no status in law, it does show your commitment and can be used as such if required.

Offbeat Ceremonies can provide you with access to a Blue Mountains artist who will create a beautiful and personalised wedding certificate to use at your ceremony.

Handfasting

The term is derived from the verb to handfast, used in Middle to Early Modern English for the making of a contract of marriage. The term is originally from Old Norse hand-festa "to strike a bargain by joining hands”. (1)

Today a Handfasting can be used to signify an engagement, betrothal, or commitment to a life partner. Laws being what they are today, a Handfasting is an excellent way for a gay or lesbian couple to make their commitment known. Additionally a Handfasting can be added to any wedding ceremony, regardless of religion, as "tying the knot" is a universal wedding theme. In fact, Handfasting is the original ‘tying the knot’.

The Fasting of hands symbolises your coming together: I, or a person you choose, wrap your joined hands with special ribbons, forming a circle of infinity and lasting love and tying you together.

The Handfasting is a ceremonial statement of a feeling, which binds two people together. It is not a marriage that binds, but the Love, respect and enjoyment which two people share, the Betrothed invite all their family and friends to show their public statement that they are in love, and wish to commit to each other openly. And for all the guests to witness this statement that they have found the fun, pleasure and opportunities of their lives enhanced by being together. They wish to spend the rest of their lives growing together, helping each other develop their potential and gathering shared moments and memories by learning about life in general with each other, together they are sharing with their guests and witnesses their love for each other.

(1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handfasting

Equal Marriage Rites

I’ve been with my partner for 15 years, we can’t be legally married because we’re not heterosexual.

To be an Authorised Civil Marriage Celebrant in Australia, I must prove that I am an upstanding member of my community by a rigorous process of referee checks, yet I can’t marry.

My wedding clients hate these words “Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of a man and a woman”, but by law I must say them.

I believe we should change these words to ‘Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of a consenting adult couple’ and I urge the Federal government to make it legal for me to marry.

On Saturday 19th March 2011, I celebrated a civil wedding ceremony as it should be celebrated, a ceremony where a same-sex couple can also be married. I did this as part of the Rally for Equal Marriage Rites that were held all over Australia, here's the video....

You can find the transcript of the ceremony on the Offbeat Ceremonies website.