Making your commitment valid - the Quaker wedding certificate tradition

How can your same-sex commitment ceremony have an element of legality, when in Australia we can't get married by law? 

I use a tradition that comes from the Quakers, using a wedding certificate to validate your ceremony.

Quakers were considered an outlaw religion in the 17th century, the State did not recognise their marriages as legal because they weren't sanctified in the Church of England. If a spouse died, the State claimed the estate and the spouse and children were left destitute. 

To ensure that the state would recognise the Quaker wedding ceremony and all its spousal and inheritance rights, a Quaker tradition arose where everyone at the ceremony signed the marriage certificate as witness to the act. If the state disputed the inheritance at the death of a spouse, this wedding certificate was used as proof of their commitment, with so many witnesses to the wedding ceremony and the couple’s commitment to each other; it was hard for the state to dispute their marriage.

The Quaker wedding certificate tradition can be used today by same sex couples, or couples who do not want to engage with the state for their vows. The Quaker wedding certificate is a way to formalise your commitment and include your guests in your ceremony and while it has no status in law, it does show your commitment and can be used as such if required.

Offbeat Ceremonies can provide you with access to a Blue Mountains artist who will create a beautiful and personalised wedding certificate to use at your ceremony.

Handfasting

The term is derived from the verb to handfast, used in Middle to Early Modern English for the making of a contract of marriage. The term is originally from Old Norse hand-festa "to strike a bargain by joining hands”. (1)

Today a Handfasting can be used to signify an engagement, betrothal, or commitment to a life partner. Laws being what they are today, a Handfasting is an excellent way for a gay or lesbian couple to make their commitment known. Additionally a Handfasting can be added to any wedding ceremony, regardless of religion, as "tying the knot" is a universal wedding theme. In fact, Handfasting is the original ‘tying the knot’.

The Fasting of hands symbolises your coming together: I, or a person you choose, wrap your joined hands with special ribbons, forming a circle of infinity and lasting love and tying you together.

The Handfasting is a ceremonial statement of a feeling, which binds two people together. It is not a marriage that binds, but the Love, respect and enjoyment which two people share, the Betrothed invite all their family and friends to show their public statement that they are in love, and wish to commit to each other openly. And for all the guests to witness this statement that they have found the fun, pleasure and opportunities of their lives enhanced by being together. They wish to spend the rest of their lives growing together, helping each other develop their potential and gathering shared moments and memories by learning about life in general with each other, together they are sharing with their guests and witnesses their love for each other.

(1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handfasting

Why I'm a marriage celebrant

Once upon a time....

I was a NSW public servant, working in eBusiness, project managing the development of such things as websites, applications, and at the end, the move to social networking through Twitter, FaceBook, blogs, etc. I commuted from our Blue Mountain's cottage to the Sydney CBD, a three hour return journey for 9 years!

This commute, plus my growing unhappiness and lack of fulfillment in my work sent me searching for another career that would free me from both commute and 'working for the man'.  I wanted something away from technology, I love using it, but was so tired of trying to convince managers that social networking wasn't 'risky'! A friend had become a marriage celebrant a few years earlier and so I investigated the idea and loved it, it suited me to a 'T'. So last year I returned to study and qualified as a registered Civil  Marriage Celebrant and started the journey to my new business of Offbeat Ceremonies.

I see a Celebrant as holding a complex and important role in our secular society. I strongly believe that birth, coming of age, death, menarche,  menopause, marriage and commitment ceremonies are rites of passage that  need to be thoughtfully and appropriately marked for us to fully transition into the next phase of our lives. Being a Celebrant means that I work with people so they can transition between one phase of their lives to the next. As a Celebrant I mark these important stages, I'm a gatekeeper and shaman and ritual maker. Perfect for a woman who has reached her third age.

You can find out more about my passion for marking the important stages of our lives with ceremony from the following videos:

• Why Offbeat
• Rites of Passage

I adore my new career, instead of office politics, I get to be with people who want to reconnect to  community, who take time to mark and celebrate each new season of  life, its a role where I can celebrate important and significant parts of people's lives.

Since I've been working from home, my life is enriched with so many wonderful community ventures, I've started to learn belly dancing and ukulele, get more into my yoga practice, create more in my studio, currently an 1880's 'saloon girl' outfit with a lovely bustle!  I am volunteering with various organisations and loving giving back to my community.

Best of all, I spend time on my business, networking, reaching out, marketing.

I am loving the freedom of my new life, I love my clients who are people in love with each other, with life and the world. I love that I have more time for the things that are important to me, my beloved partner, my friends and my business.

Offbeat Ceremonies - what's that?

You are different and diverse, you love your community and acknowledging your place in the environment.

You desire a rite of passage that has meaning to you, your family and community, a ceremony that sits lightly on the earth, one that symbolises your partnership and love.

You don’t see your ceremony as only glitz, glam, frou-frou and party favours.

You probably prefer vintage clothes to designer gowns, or perhaps you adore to dress up in historical gowns and ceremonial clothes from different cultural traditions.

In fact, you are offbeat and a bit different, just like me, and between us we can can weave a perfect rite of passage for you that symbolises your diversity.

Offbeat Ceremonies offers you a range of celebrations from weddings and hand fastings, vow renewals, GLBTI and queer commitment ceremonies, naming days for children and adults, Wheel of the Year celebrations, pet ceremonies, and funerals.

I specialise in Rights of Passage ceremonies that celebrate your journey through life.

I created Offbeat Ceremonies because I believe that life should be celebrated and that we should mark all the significant events in our life's journey from birth to death.